so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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