After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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