Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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