how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
