Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
