I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
