I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
