i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
