everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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