My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
