yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
