I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
