just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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