So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
