i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The air was thick with penises
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
