I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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