TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize