just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
