I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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