I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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