where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize