Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
