I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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