you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
