she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
