she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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