I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
