grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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