You did not just play the dead husband card again.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
