so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
