Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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