you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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