that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
