Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
