Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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