Porn is love you can see.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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