Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
