I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
