you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
