You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
