i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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