i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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