i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
