I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
