I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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