you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
