And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
