You're earring is so big in my mouth
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
