Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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