So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
