Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
