I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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