Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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