I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
