So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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