That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
