dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize