watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize