Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
