I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
