i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
