Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
