A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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